WHO LIGHTS THE INCENSE? By Julie McAllen

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove incense sticks from box. Place stick firmly in a suitable and secure heat and flame resistant holder (not provided). Light tip of stick then blow out flame so tip glows.

I’ve never actually read the instructions on a box of incense before writing them down here; I can usually figure it out on my own just fine thank you very much. I trust that is the case with those who will read this article too.

There are a lot of things we use every day which require no need to consult the manufacturer. And because we take for granted the ease with which it comes to us, we assume others know also and therefore feel no need to explain to them what, how, or why we do what we do.

For example: I burn incense because it smells good, so I light up a stick and position it near me for my pleasure.

Well duh.

I’ve taken the act of burning incense for granted so long that it never occurred to me to read the instructions or write about it. So why am I bothering to do so now? Because I wonder if that is also the case with prayer. After all, no one needs instructions on how to pray, even atheists in foxholes figure that one out without reading any manual. Yet recently I was led to investigate the instructions in the Bible about prayer and how it relates to incense. For the believer who prays regularly, this article may seem…..well…kind of like the idiot instructions on a box of incense. Yet most of us do question at times whether or not God really hears us or how and if He already knows our needs before we bring them to Him why does He ask us to pray? So, it can be to our benefit to read the instructions in the manual and learn more about the mechanics of prayer to increase our confidence in continuing in it.

The essence of prayer is to meet with God. In addressing the topic of prayer, the apostle Paul wrote that he prayed with his mind as well as his spirit (1 Cor 14:14-15). So there is an engagement of both mind and spirit in the act of prayer. The things our minds wrestle with bring us to Him with questions and concerns and in the process He unveils our hearts. The connection to our Creator happens when the intellect is stripped and gives way to the spirit’s prayer. We may leave the prayer closet with unanswered questions but gain the peace of God that surpasses all knowledge (Phil 4:7).

A recent experience in prayer reminded me of this and is the inspiration for this article.

I know God is not a squirrel…. but….

There are days I look very forward to prayer and there are days when I admit, it’s more out of duty or obligation in a rush to get through the list. Other tasks weigh on my mind.

It seems the past few days have had interruptions and distractions keeping me from hearing God’s voice, but I knew today would be quiet so last night I went to bed looking forward to a morning of prayer.

I’m blessed to live on the river with beautiful views surrounding my home. Downstairs I have a favorite spot known as “the prayer chair.” It’s positioned near an east facing window making it a perfect spot to receive the morning sun. Upstairs I have an office with another comfortable chair and floor pillows for kneeling, but since it’s on the west side of the house, it’s not as welcoming in the morning. But this morning beckoned me to the tall east facing windows behind my kitchen table. I tossed the pillows on the floor, peered through the pines and absorbed the creation by watching the sun sparkle on the river below. It’s not hard to begin intercessions when He makes it so easy to come in with thanksgiving and praise.

As the Spirit opened, I found myself receiving a lesson on the struggle between intellect and love, the mind and the heart. I received a wonderful word on incense which I wrote down for another time. As I prayed for others on my list, He relieved my intellect and gave in its place wordless groans (Romans 8:26). I trusted the Spirit’s prayer more than my own and I let it flow. Then the hunger increased, I asked to know Him more intimately, to know He was near. I asked for a touch, a vision, anything.

Just then, I opened my eyes face-to-face with a gray squirrel staring at me through the window. Only a sheet of glass stood between the two feet of space that separated us. I watched him nervously jitter from one end of the window to the other cautiously checking my eyes to see if they followed him. Finally, he was gone, off to gather his provisions. And once again, with humor God reminded me that yes, He was very near. I was allowed this understanding only by remaining still and silent on my knees where I’d be able to meet with Him face-to-face.

I didn’t begin my prayers on January 10, 2012 asking to understand incense. I was actually just going through my usual Tuesday morning list. I came in with my mind and it’s petitions toward God and as I was still before Him, my mind gave way to praying in the Spirit. When it did, I heard a question.

“Who lights the incense?”

And a flood of understanding filled me. Whenever this happens, I scramble for a notebook. This is what I managed to capture.

Prayer is like incense: January 10, 2012

The light from heaven comes. We receive the fire and prayers escape our lips. They ascend to heaven in the smoke of sweet incense. Do not release this until you’re lit with the fire from Him. For He is the one delighting in the aroma of your prayer.

If I want to delight in the smell of a stick of incense, I must first go to it and light it. Then I may enjoy the fragrance it brings to my nostrils.

How pleasant to be assured that what I pray to God has first been given His attention. He walked over to me and lit me. I am praying…..

Prayer is like incense. I’d read verses about that before but they never touched my heart as much as they do now.

May my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering. (Psalm 141:2)

As I read the verse now, it connects with my experience and a blessed understanding comes to me, ‘my prayers are pleasing to God.’

In Exodus chapter 30, God’s people are given detailed instruction about the altar of incense. The priests of the old covenant ensured that incense was burned before the Lord morning and night. The altar on which this incense was burned was before the curtain that separated the holy place from the Most Holy Place or Holy of Holies in which the mercy seat of God was positioned above the ark of the testimony. The blessing in this arrangement includes “this is where I will meet with you.”

⁶You shall put this altar in front of the veil that is near the ark of the testimony, in front of the mercy seat that is over the ark of the testimony, where I will meet with you. ⁷ Aaron shall burn fragrant incense on it; he shall burn it every morning when he trims the lamps. ⁸ When Aaron trims the lamps at twilight, he shall burn incense. There shall be perpetual incense before the LORD throughout your generations. (Exodus 30:6-8)

This is a shadow of the new covenant privilege we have in prayer. The writer of Hebrews in the New Testament reminds Christians of those first covenant arrangements in chapter 9 where the construction of the earthly tabernacle is considered. He describes how the holy place and the Holy of Holies are separated by a veil. Priests were continually entering the outer tabernacle in their worship, but it was only the high priest who could enter the Holy of Holies. He entered with blood offered for himself and the sins of the people. (Heb 9:1-7)

¹¹ But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things to come, He entered through the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this creation; (Heb 9:11)

When we pray in Jesus’ name, we are recognizing his role as our High Priest and the right given to us as kings and priests under the new covenant arrangement to participate in intercessory prayer.

¹⁹ Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰ by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, ²¹ and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²² let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. (Heb 10:19—22)

By the blood of Christ, we enter the holy place. But how is it that we can meet with God who is in the Holy of Holies?

The instructions for the altar of incense in Exodus 30 included placing that incense in front of the curtain separating the holy place from the Holy of Holies. The sacred items of the ark of the covenant and mercy seat of God are in the Holy of Holies as described in Exodus 25:10-22.

What I found interesting in that account were the cherubim at the two ends of the mercy seat.

¹⁷ “You shall make a mercy seat of pure gold, two and a half cubits long and one and a half cubits wide. ¹⁸ You shall make two cherubim of gold, make them of hammered work at the two ends of the mercy seat. ¹⁹ Make one cherub at one end and one cherub at the other end; you shall make the cherubim of one piece with the mercy seat at its two ends. ²⁰ The cherubim shall have their wings spread upward, covering the mercy seat with their wings and facing one another; the faces of the cherubim are to be turned toward the mercy seat. ²¹ You shall put the mercy seat on top of the ark, and in the ark you shall put the testimony which I will give to you. ²² There I will meet with you; and from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubim which are upon the ark of the testimony, I will speak to you about all that I will give you in commandment for the sons of Israel. (Exodus 25:17-22).

Cherubim are first mentioned in Genesis 3:22-24 where we learn that their chief role is to guard God’s holiness. Cherubim are also upon the mercy seat of God which is in the Holy of Holies where sin can not enter. What does it mean?

When we enter prayer cleansed by the blood of Jesus, we are standing in a holy place where our prayers are offered to God. Just as Aaron kept the incense burning day and night in the old covenant arrangement, we as new covenant priests having washed our robes in the blood of the Lamb are seen before the throne of God serving Him day and night in His temple (Rev 7:14-15). The revelation continues with a scene in heaven of an angel holding a golden censer, or container, standing at the altar where incense is given to him “so that he might add it to the prayers of all the saints on the golden altar which was before the throne.” Picture that scene: we offer prayers, but wait on heaven to release angels bringing incense to mix with our prayers, “and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, went up to God out of the angel’s hand.” (Rev 8:3-4)

Angels are ministering spirits sent out to render service for the sake of those who inherit salvation (Heb 1:14) Angels were sent even to minister to Jesus (Matt 4:11). They continue to play a vital role in our lives bringing us close to God where we can “meet with Him” as we enter the temple.

That morning I was praying like a priest showing up for duty as I interceded by mindfully going through my list. It was like I was waiting not only for a stick of incense, but the fire to light it as well. As I continued in prayer, a hunger increased to draw near to God. You might say I became aware of the veil separating the holy place from the Holy of Holies. I noticed the transition of praying from my mind to praying in the Spirit. I felt the Presence of God as I gave into it. That is when He asked me, “who lights the incense?”

Jacob had a dream in which he saw angels ascending and descending on a ladder set on the earth reaching into heaven. The experience was so powerful that he exclaimed, “surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.” (Gen 28:10-16) He had met with God through the intercession of angels. I like to think of them now coming down the ladder with empty bowls to fill with my prayers. They take them back up to heaven where God mixes His favorite incense with them.

But why does God need this mixture of prayer and incense? Aren’t my prayers enough? I found an answer to those questions in a book which is rich with the details of God’s holiness and requirements for fellowship with Him.

Sacrificial offerings are the major theme of the book of Leviticus. The grain offering reminded the people of God’s provision of life: daily bread. And they were given instruction as to what kind of bread to offer.

 ¹¹ ‘No grain offering, which you bring to the LORD, shall be made with leaven, for you shall not offer up in smoke any leaven or any honey as an offering by fire to the LORD. (Lev 2:11)

Leaven, is often a symbol for sin or the spread of evil according to the writers of the new testament (Matt 16:6, 1 Cor 5:6, Gal 5:9)

Leaven and honey were excluded because they both ferment; however, there was allowance for leavened bread in the offering of firstfruits at Leviticus 23:17. The church, like leavened bread, is composed of sinners. As we begin our prayers, certainly we want to pray in the will of God. But the truth of the matter is, we do not always know if we are. Our sincerity may in fact be tainted with leaven even when we are offering up our petitions and praise in the name of Jesus who is the sinless bread of heaven. Certainly we want our prayers to be pleasing to God, and as sinners we are welcomed to come before the altar even if leaven is present in our prayers, yet can these ascend into the Holy of Holies as the soothing aroma He desires? What can we learn from the shadow set forth in the old covenant?

¹² As an offering of first fruits you shall bring them to the LORD, but they shall not ascend for a soothing aroma on the altar. (Lev 2:12)

So the question arises; how did God’s people present their grain offerings to become a soothing aroma to the Lord?

 ¹⁴ ‘Also if you bring a grain offering of early ripened things to the LORD, you shall bring fresh heads of grain roasted in the fire, grits of new growth, for the grain offering of your early ripened things. ¹⁵ You shall then put oil on it and lay incense on it; it is a grain offering. ¹⁶ The priest shall offer up in smoke its memorial portion, part of its grits and its oil with all its incense as an offering by fire to the LORD. (Lev 2:14-16)

The offering with oil and frankincense became a soothing aroma to the Lord (Lev 2:1-2).

Throughout the Bible, oil is associated with the anointing of Holy Spirit and symbolizes the very presence of God (Ps 23:5, Acts 10:38, 1 John 2:20) Perhaps praying in the Spirit could be understood as a “leavened” prayer anointed with oil. It’s interesting to note that when James describes a spiritually sick member of the church, he is not instructed to pray himself but rather to call the elders to pray over him. They anoint the sick one with oil in the name of the Lord (James 5:14-16). When weak, we need the help of oil, or Holy Spirit, to pray.

God desires to hear back from the Spirit which He sent to us. Notice how James addresses this,

³ You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. ⁴ You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. ⁵ Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”? (James 4:3-5)

God jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us. And so, we are encouraged to pray in the Spirit.

When the disciples were told to wait until the Holy Spirit was sent, they obediently returned to Jerusalem and waited. How? They were “continually in the temple praising God.” (Luke 24:49-53)

Exciting things happen when we wait while praising God.

² And suddenly there came from heaven a noise like a violent rushing wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³ And there appeared to them tongues as of fire distributing themselves, and they rested on each one of them. ⁴ And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit was giving them utterance. (Acts 2:2-4)

When our prayers are anointed with the oil of Holy Spirit and mixed with the incense of heaven, they become the smoke of the incense that pleases God because what pleases God is that we pray in His will. Though we may enter prayer with our own ideas, God desires His own will to be done and that is why He sends out angels to light the incense and bring our utterances back to Him as holy prayers. So incense is given into the angels censer and once mixed with our prayers, it’s filled with the fire of the altar and thrown to the earth where effects are seen (Rev. 8:3-5)! These become the prayers offered in God’s will.

¹⁴ This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  (1 John 5:14).

Heaven is moved whenever or however we pray, but when we stand in the holy place not knowing what to pray or dutifully go through a list, we may miss the intimacy of meeting with God if we’re not still and wait long enough to be “lit,” because it’s the smoke of the incense that reaches past the curtain to please our Father and send angels into action.

Prayer is an invitation. God beckons us there to instruct us what He has in store, not the other way around. We have absolutely no idea what God intends to do, how can we know the mind of God? How can our lists of prayers instruct Him what to do?

⁹but just as it is written,

   “THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD, AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.”

¹⁰ For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. ¹¹ For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. ¹² Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, ¹³ which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.

¹⁴ But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. ¹⁵ But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. ¹⁶ For WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD, THAT HE WILL INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Cor 2:9-16)

We don’t know God’s will, and yet, we need a reason to come. So we show up with our lists hoping that He will answer these petitions as we envision them fulfilled, but “hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” (Ro 8:24-25) There it is again, we wait. As we wait, the oil is poured out and the angels come to light the incense, “In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Ro 8:26-27)

Can we pray without knowing all these details? Of course we can, but I realize now what has been occurring all this time: God enjoys incense, not just prayers. Though He is pleased that I’ve showed up with my first fruits as I start to relate to Him the things on my mind with it’s own words, He says, “she is weak and doesn’t know how to pray about this” and the Spirit begins to intercede. I’ve come in the holy place by the blood of Jesus, I’m positioned before the curtain, He is in the Holy of Holies with cherubim on the seat of mercy. Will He direct their attention toward me? Will “tongues of angels” be given to mix with incense so that my intellect no longer has cause to assert it’s own will over the perfect will of God? Angels descend from heaven with incense and then ascend back to heaven with my prayers and the smoke of this is pleasing to God and I sense my prayers becoming holy enough to go beyond the veil and into the Holy of Holies where I may meet Him there.

If you are no longer satisfied with prayers based on things seen and long for depth and intimacy with God, be assured He is delighted when we kindle the flames of our spiritual gifts and seek never to quench it’s fire. (2 Tim 1:6; 1 Thess 5:19-20)

The intimacy in prayer is as two lovers interlocked in a kiss. Solomon expressed the love between a Shulamite and the king with these words, “Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers.” (SS 1:4) When she speaks of his kisses they are described as “the kisses of his mouth.” The most satisfying prayers to God are those uttered in the name of Jesus whose words are planted on our lips. The lovers become one as they run together. The prayer of the perfect Son of God is a fragrant prayer, and it affects those around us even as the king’s scented oil caused the maidens to love him (SS 1:3).

Likewise, in relationship to our King Jesus, we take on the fragrance of Christ and are not only pleasing to God but also among those with whom we come into contact (2 Cor 2:15-16-17).

The fact is that if we have been saved by grace, we’ve also been raised up with Christ and are seated with Him in the heavenly places (Eph 2:6). How often do we push beyond the first heaven to meet with Him there? The Lord is seated in heavenly places where a man the apostle Paul describes was “caught up” where he heard “inexpressible words” (2 Cor 12:24). This doesn’t happen in a prayer life comprised only of 10 seconds of grace before your meal or exclamations of “help me Jesus” on an icy road, it happens, oddly enough, when we set prayer as a discipline, even entering it as a mindful and dutiful obligation or habit. An hour set aside for prayer is not to be confused with an act of legalism as if to prove to God our worth based on a record of time spent there. But when we are still before the Lord and wait, it’s a bit like those instructions on a box of incense as we’re “taken out of the box to be lit.”

May we never look at our prayers–or a box of incense–as unimportant again. Make it a habit to be still long enough to wait on the incense from heaven to be mixed as a pleasant fragrance to the One who is on the throne.

And so beloved, “build yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit,” and of course….

Keep yourself in God’s love, (Jude 20-21)

Julie

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I suffer from chronic back pain. When I exercise regularly, my back pain is alleviated which results in better sleep at night and being productive during the day. I don’t have to tell you how invigorated we feel after a good night’s sleep – it can affect your entire day! When I’ve had restful sleep I’m more focused at work and have more energy to run after my toddler – I think I’m also nicer to people…ha.  Eating right promotes the same results. By “eating right”, this doesn’t mean I’m dieting; it means I’m eating healthy foods and making better choices as to what I put into my body. When I’m conscious of my eating habits, I’m good about my water, fiber and vitamins intake.  When combined with exercise, eating well helps me to attain my fitness goals. The third aspect of proper eating and exercise is the mental and emotional good that comes from a healthy, strong body. I tend to handle stress a whole lot better when I feel healthy. Knowing that I’m doing something that will benefit me for years to come also gives a sense of achievement and satisfaction – all are very positive and uplifting.

When I feel good physically, I feel good mentally and emotionally. Feeling run-down, tired or in constant pain is enough to send anyone hiding under a pillow for the day – believe me, I’ve done that a few times. But when I’m at my best, I’m more involved in the ministries God has called me to do, I’m more attentive to friends and family and I’m sensitive to God’s lead in my life. I can’t hear God when I’m shut down due to not feeling well. It’s one thing not to feel good because of cold symptoms or other temporary ailments, but it’s another to feel “unhealthy” for a prolonged period of time due to carelessness with our health.  I accomplish so much more when I feel (physically and mentally) well.

2011 was a very unhealthy year for me exercise and eating-wise. Every time I started an exercise program I would do well for a week or so and then something would happen in my life that would bring the routine to a complete stop and halt any progress. In addition to the setbacks, I was also concerned with completing everything on my “to-do” list than I was at taking better care of myself. The result of the past choices I’ve made is a fatigued, stressed-out physical body (that’s always in pain). I don’t want this for myself in 2012 and, according to His word, God doesn’t  either; I know He wants me to feel strong and healthy so that I can serve Him better too – this is why we’re commanded to glorify God with our (healthy) bodies. “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.” (Rom 12:1)

In scripture, when we’re commanded to do something, God supplies us with the resources to help us be obedient. Many people make diet and exercise their New Year’s resolution, but usually fail. They may start out determined, committed and enthusiastic about their resolution to lose weight, eat healthier or exercise but come out short at the end.  We must keep in mind that since it is God’s will for us to be healthy, He will provide the strength and help we need to see us through it. God’s help is ours for the asking. “Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and you joy will be complete.” (John 16:23-30) Its encouraging to know that we don’t have to do this on our own.

Along with the resolution to reach fitness and health goals, make it your resolution to pray first and you’ll succeed in everything God wills for you. Talk to God about what you would like to achieve with regards to your body and health. Share your goals with a trusted friend who will support you and make you accountable; perhaps you can hire a fitness trainer to help motivate and guide you.  If you cannot afford a gym membership or a personal trainer, your living room floor will do just fine. There are many effective exercise videos available on the market for a low cost; there are countless of exercise books and information on the internet. If you are like me and work full time, have a little one at home to care for and do not have the time for exercise, then pray about it and ask God to “make the time”. Start with 15 minutes and work your way to 30, then 45 and finally 60 minutes each day. Start out with two days a week and work your way to three, then four, etc…

My resolve for 2012 is to be obedient to God’s command to take better care of my body – it is His will for me and for you, too. I wish you a Happy and Healthy 2012!  Blessings, Linda.

On the surface, some would say it’s not the “Christian” thing to do. After all, are we not advised to turn the other cheek when someone slaps us? Aren’t we called to forgive the offense and bravely press on? What is accomplished by exposing someone else’s sin? Shouldn’t we protect their good reputation instead of airing out their dirty laundry? I confess there are times I will cover over my wounds in an effort to protect those who’ve sinned against me. It seems respectful and “Christian” to do so, but God took me below the surface and showed me it was in fact the opposite of following in the footsteps of Christ.

When Jesus visited his closest companions after his resurrection from the dead, he did not hide his wounds from them. In fact, he exposed the holes in his hands openly in order to prove to them who he was. In effect he was saying, “look at what the sins of others have done to me.” Was that slander? Was it unnecessary exposure for the sake of getting even? Not in the case of Jesus. How do I know? Because even as they were pounding his body with their sins, he forgave them. Jesus was not uncovering his scars in any effort to hold back forgiveness, for it was already granted. Forgiving, therefore, is not hiding our wounds. If Jesus had kept his hidden, his friends would’ve doubted his reality.

 “Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” …. Then He said to Thomas, “Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.” (John 20:25, 27)

Jesus was known to his friends by the wounds he willingly exposed. In the most intimate relationships, everything is open and laid bare.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. (Hebrews 4:12-13).

God uses his word to draw us closer to him, Jesus honored his closest friends by allowing them to touch his wounds (1 John 1:1). Are we willing to let God open our wounds? Do we let others come close enough to see our scars and admit to them, “this is what the world did to me?” And what is the motive if we do expose the scars we carry?

“This is where they took out the cancer,” a friend confides as she lifts her shirt. “A reminder of my DWI days,” another jokes as he explains his twisted limb. “My mommy gets mad sometimes,” a child is coaxed to admit when the bruises no longer pass for normal playground mishaps. Some wounds are easier to share than others. Some go undetected for years they’ve been so skillfully buried. “I keep having these nightmares,” she finally confides to a therapist. “I know it happened, but I don’t see the point in talking about it now,” another evades the topic. Sometimes we tell the wrong people who abuse our trust and it makes it hard to be intimate with anyone after that. And so we live with wounds that no one else is admitted to see or touch as we isolate and insulate ourselves from others. There are, after all, many ways to hide the scars. How beautiful that Jesus not only exposed his own wounds and invited his friends to touch them, but he was also willing to touch the imperfections of those around him; healing lepers, deaf ears, and blind eyes. Sometimes all we need to heal is to trust someone enough to see our scars.

God is saying, “it’s okay, show your scars.” Yet confronting those we love but have hurt us deeply is difficult. If love covers over a multitude of sins, why bring up their sins? Why not keep the scars they gave us hidden? What will happen if they’re shown the wounds they inflicted upon us? Has Jesus kept his hidden? When confronted with sin, the humble are left to deal with their shame and seek forgiveness in the interest of reconciling the relationship. The prideful, however, will claim they have not sinned and blame the one who confronted them. Our weakness may hold us back from such confrontation, but if Jesus trusts us enough to discover the effects of our sin, we should do likewise with those we love—regardless of the consequences. God was willing to reconcile all men at the cross, but not all men are willing to see their sin there. We do no one any favors by not giving them opportunity to acknowledge their sins against us either. We are instead, opening the way to express our forgiveness toward them and invite them to greater intimacy in a reconciled relationship.

When we touch the wounds of Jesus, we are not merely looking at what Roman soldiers did to him. If you believe your sins were forgiven because of the blood of Jesus Christ, then no doubt you’ve seen your own misgivings causing the holes in his hands and the gash in his side. It makes his words of forgiveness toward you even sweeter. He didn’t exclude you by hiding his wounds from your eyes, for it was by his Spirit you were drawn there to see your words and actions causing the pain he endured on the cross. As you sobbed at his feet, he lifted your head to look you in the eye and whisper, “your sins are forgiven.” This is the pattern of a healthy and intimate relationship set forth by our Creator, because no one is ready to meet God until they first acknowledge the effect of their sins upon him. Likewise, no one really knows the gift of another person until they see their scars, even if some of those scars were caused by you.

Keep yourself in God’s love, Julie

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Have you ever ran into someone who you recognize, but couldn’t remember their name or who they were? That’s happened to me a couple of times. Being the shy person that I am (yes, I’m shy), I normally wouldn’t say anything until I knew for sure who they were. But to help jolt the memory, I would usually have to clear my mind of everything I was thinking of so I can focus on that person. Sometimes all it really takes is hearing their voice and I can remember everything about them in an instant!

I believe that knowing the will of God is much the same process. When we’re at a loss with our lives, we pray for God to reveal his plan for us but often times don’t see God answering our prayer. Little do we realize that God has already revealed it to us, but we failed to “recognize” it much like we do a long-lost acquaintance.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” – Romans 12:2. In this verse, we are reminded to “renew our minds” so that we will be able to recognize the will of God for us when He places it in front of us. I don’t believe God plays mind games with us, particularly those seeking to live according to His will – and He wouldn’t hold out on faithful servants who ask in humble prayer. I believe that if God’s word says He imparts wisdom to those who ask, He does. So why don’t we see His will for us when we ask for discernment? Mainly it’s because we don’t recognize it and there may be different reasons why we don’t. For one, we may not agree with His plan for our life, so we choose not to see it and keep asking Him to show us what He already has! Or perhaps our minds are clouded with so many things that are preventing us to see God’s will. In my personal experience, I don’t recognize God’s will when I’m not paying attention. For me, paying attention would require me to be still and wait quietly – only then do I become aware of Him and His will for my life. More than often, God has revealed His plan for me through His word, through a friend, a church sermon and sometimes even through music! Sometimes I can feel God tugging at my heart to notice Him. And even then, I sometimes miss the obvious and find myself on bended knee asking for what He has already revealed. Crazy, isn’t it??

Know this, God has a plan for everyone, including you and me. Jeremiah 29:11, 12 “For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.” He is a God of PURPOSE and everything He does is for His Glory. He is a God of divine order and not of confusion. Just look at our universe and how orderly it is! He makes no mistakes in planning out the happenings of each and every day. He orchestrates every aspect of our lives and when you think about it, that’s a very good thing. Personally, I’d rather he plans out my every minute of the day because I’ve been known to make a mess of things!

They say there are two things for sure: death and taxes, but I beg to differ. I say there are three, and the third surety is that God has a plan for everything that is under His creation. So rather than ask the Lord to reveal His will for you, ask Him to help you recognize the will and plan He has already set in place in your life. When He does, obedience must follow your humble request; you must be prepared to be obedient to follow the path He has willed for you; with discernment, He will provide you with the resources to live out His plan for your life. With Him in control, you will never go wrong!

May you continue to abide in God’s Grace, Linda.

(photograph courtesy of Marcene)

“You are demon-possessed,” the crowd answered. “Who is trying to kill you?”   (John 7:20)

The Jews answered him, “Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?” …At this they exclaimed, “Now we know that you are demon-possessed! Abraham died and so did the prophets, yet you say that whoever obeys your word will never taste death.  (John 8:48, 52)

Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?”  (John 10:20)

Concerning the Apostle Paul…

At this point Festus interrupted Paul’s defense. “You are out of your mind, Paul!” he shouted. “Your great learning is driving you insane.” (Acts 26:24)

 Still Crazy After All These Years…

 ”In the past, people tended to avoid those who suffered from mood disorders. As a result, many who were afflicted became social outcasts. Some encountered job discrimination. Others were shunned by members of their own family. Often, this only aggravated the problem and prevented those who were ailing from getting help.

In recent decades, however, great strides have been made in understanding clinical depression and bipolar disorder. Now it is well-known that these conditions are treatable. But getting help is not always easy….

The important thing is to reach out and get help. “Many times sufferers are frightened and ashamed of their condition,” … “The real shame, though, is suspecting you have a problem and not seeking the help that you so desperately need.”

I agree with these statements. The article from which they were taken also offered advice that I further support. It encouraged seeking comfort from God’s word the Bible and fellowship with other believers.

“Discerning Christians, therefore, avoid implying that depressed people are responsible for their own suffering. Such remarks would be no more helpful than those offered by Job’s false comforters (Job 8:1-6), and adds, “There is no doubt that by providing meaningful support, family members and friends can play a significant role in a sufferer’s well-being.”

Who wouldn’t agree? This is all very sound advice taken from the January 8, 2004 Awake! magazine published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. I think they tactfully dealt with the topic of mood disorders and I was very encouraged to read it because I have Seasonal depression. It usually begins in mid October with pain in my eyes and a loss of energy. Page 10 of the article noted that one member of the congregation of Jehovah’sWitnesses said, “the depression increases because I feel that my disorder must be a reflection of a lack of spirituality.” And added, “I have learned that depression is an illness that needs to be dealt with. It is not a reflection of my love for God or for my fellow Christians. It is not a true reflection of my spirituality.”

I also learned this lesson. I had become discouraged over the years as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and when the pressure got to me, I walked out in the fall of 2003 not knowing if I’d return. So this particular article was healing to me as I felt the Watchtower Society was addressing something going on in my own congregation. My discouragement had begun a few years earlier when I was reprimanded by an elder for following the Bible’s advice to “speak consolingly to the depressed souls.” Having grown up with a family member with bi-polar disorder and knowing my own seasonal depression, I was perhaps more sensitive to those in my congregation who were discouraged or depressed. The elder told me to “look out for number one” and reminded me that time spent trying to encourage the sister whom he referred to as “weak” was time I could be spending out in the door-to-door ministry. He had also given a talk on “marking” weak ones in the congregation and taking special precautions in our limited dealings with them. When I concurred that we have to protect our own spiritual standing but asked, “what if that person is so distraught they’re near suicide, you can’t leave a person alone in that condition can you?” His answer was a cold-hearted, “what are you going to do, commit suicide with them?”

I eventually followed orders and fell in line as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses “in good standing” by closing my heart and just performing my duties. Years passed and finally in 2003, I just stopped going to meetings. When I got the article on mood disorders at the start of 2004, I read the advice on pages 12-13 on how the congregation can offer support and was confirmed that I had followed the right course in reaching out to my sister after all….

“The Bible admonishes all Christians to “speak consolingly to the depressed souls” and to “be long-suffering toward all” (1 Thess 5:14) How can you do this? First, it is important to understand the distinction between mental and spiritual illness. For example, the Bible writer James indicated that prayer can make the spiritually indisposed one well. (James 5:14, 15) Nevertheless, Jesus acknowledged that those who are physically ailing need a physician. (Matt 9:12) Of course, it is always right and helpful to pray to Jehovah about any concern, including our health. (Ps 55:22; Phil 4:6-7) But the Bible does not state that increased spiritual activity in itself will cure present medical problems.

Discerning Christians, therefore, avoid implying that depressed people are responsible for their own suffering. Such remarks would be no more helpful than those offered by Job’s false comforters. (Job 8:1-6) The fact is that in many cases depression will not improve unless it is treated medically. This is especially so when a person is severely depressed, perhaps even suicidal. In such cases, professional attention is essential.”

I was being told NOT to speak to this discouraged sister because the elder said she was “spiritually weak.” Yet the article in the magazine that he, along with 6 million others at that time, were distributing door-to-door gave the advice TO SPEAK and TO PRAY, NOT AVOID! It also brought out that expecting increased activity from the individual would not be helpful, yet as any one of Jehovah’s Witnesses know too well their status of “weak” or “in good standing” is based upon the activities of meeting attendance and field service. She was doing less of both and thus labeled as “bad association.”

This incident made me feel insecure because I feared being labeled as “weak” and “bad association” myself if I was in need. How refreshing to read from the pages of the Awake! magazine this advice to the congregation,

“To be of assistance to sufferers, strive to be empathetic. (1 Cor 10:24; Phil 2:4) Try to view matters through the eyes of the sufferer rather than through your own. Do not burden the individual with unreasonable expectations. “When I am accepted for the person I am now,” says Carl, who struggles with depression, “I feel that my sense of belonging is gradually being restored. With the patient help of a few older friends, I have been able to build a closer relationship with God and have found a great measure of joy in helping others to do the same.”

I knew I had been an encouragement to that sister and perhaps the elders attitude toward it was merely a local problem and I could use the article to point out the physical as well as spiritual dimensions of my own depression and hers also.

Knock, Knock!

The elders had made a surprise visit to my home in mid October of 2004 demanding more activity from me with no offer to pray for me. I told them I was building my own relationship with God and found it difficult to go out in service telling others about how wonderful “Jehovah’s organization” was when I myself had begun to doubt that. Two weeks later I received a phone call letting me know of their intentions to disfellowship me which plunged me into a deep depression. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, however, reasoning that perhaps my seasonal depression was affecting my ability to receive corrective counsel so I quoted from the January 8, 2004 Awake! article to plea mercy and asked if we could put the hearings off until spring when I would be more stable in my thinking. They refused. What was my crime and why the hurry? I had begun to talk too much about Jesus.

Instead of speaking consolingly, they put me through an insulting inquisition. Instead of praying for me, they condemned me. On December. 2, 2004 they announced to my “brothers and sisters” that I was an apostate to the faith because I answered “yes” to their question of whether a person could have a relationship with God outside of the Watchtower. And thus I ended that year as a shunned person, one that the Watchtower recently declared as “mentally diseased.”

No one but me had followed the advice of the Awake! magazine yet I was the one called an apostate to the faith?

Where were the “loving and empathetic” elders of whom the sister in the Awake! article said this, “When the elders reassure me of Jehovah’s love, read me passages from God’s Word, the Bible, and speak of Jehovah’s purpose for a paradise of peace and well-being and when they pray with me—even on the telephone—I feel the burden lifting. I know I am not abandoned by Jehovah or by my brothers, and that is a source of strength for me.”

Actions speak louder than words and I discovered in more cases than just this one that the printed material from the Awake! and Watchtower differ from the actions of its leadership. One thing I would like to make aware to the public is that the Watchtower magazine that Jehovah’s Witnesses bring to your door is not the same information they study each week at their meetings. An article published in the July 15, 2011 study edition of The Watchtower warns followers to stay clear of “false teachers” who are condemned as being “mentally diseased” apostates who should be avoided at all costs. It reads, “Suppose that a doctor told you to avoid contact with someone who is infected with a contagious, deadly disease…. you would strictly heed his warning. Well, apostates are ‘mentally diseased’, and they seek to infect others with their disloyal teachings.”

They do not clarify what these false teachings are however. I learned the hard way that any teaching that does not agree with theirs is considered as false. But I’m in good company because according to them, Jesus Christ also would be considered an apostate to their faith.

To have a mental illness in itself should never be regarded with shame, their own literature pointed that out. In this case, however, the term “mentally diseased” is a supreme insult and many former members are rightly speaking out about it. Active members who are still able to think for themselves are not going to put up with this much longer either.

The July 15, 2011 article intended to inculcate their flock worldwide basically said that those of us who left to follow Jesus Christ are “mentally diseased.” In addition to that, they are told regularly at their meetings that those who have never joined their religion are “worldly” and will be destroyed at Armageddon. They believe that they alone have a channel of communication to God and this information about you and about me is not just from the leadership at Brooklyn, New York, but from Jehovah God himself. Basically, what they are being told is God is displeased with you and me and the only way to be in his favor is if we join the Watchtower so that we too can condemn everyone outside of it. And they call this Christianity????? To stand against this CONTROLLING RELIGION is not insane, it’s HEALTHY.

From the mouth of God straight into the Watchtower magazine for brainwashing amongst the flock: Taken from ‘Will you heed Jehovah’s warnings?’

“Jehovah, the Great Physician, tells us to avoid contact with them. We know what he means, but are we determined to heed his warning in all respects? What is involved in avoiding false teachers? We do not receive them into our homes or greet them. We also refuse to read their literature, watch television programs that feature them, examine their websites, or add our comments to their blogs. Why do we take such a firm stand?
“Because of love. We love ‘the God of truth’, so we are not interested in twisted teachings that contradict his Word of truth.”

Yes, because of love, entire families shun their own who are not able to keep up with the Watchtower’s requirements. I have friends who have been completely cut off from their families and suffer greatly because of it, yes, some of them do fit the description of “mentally diseased” now because of this action. But then, what happened to “by providing meaningful support, family members and friends can play a significant role in a sufferer’s well-being” from the January 8, 2004 Awake! article? Which article will they obey?

In the New World Translation of the Bible which Jehovah’s Witnesses use and make available to the public, Ecclesiastes 7:7  is rendered as “For mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy” and I can vouch that while under their oppression I was crazy.

I entered the ranks of the Watchtower in 1996 at first happily praising God because I thought I had found “the truth,” but by 2004 I was asking the demons to kill me. Insanity? YES!! The confused years that followed were a struggle to regain my mind, but by 2007 the dark cloud of Watchtower oppression left and I totally give credit to the healing ministry of Jesus Christ, the REAL TRUTH in my life.

The Awake! article on page 11 mentioned a woman who found it helpful to keep a daily journal in which she could pour out her feelings. Because we were not allowed to voice our own thoughts in the religion and discouraged from making friendships outside of it, my journal became the safe haven to release my tormented thoughts.  It’s not that I need to go back into that darkness again, but I thought it might be to someone else’s benefit to read selections from my personal journal.

Even in the Bible’s familiar Psalms of anguish, I believe the Spirit of Christ was writing them. I notice this in my own struggles also. At times my pen was seething with anger like a caged beast demanding freedom and then interrupted by a small still voice that said trust God, wait and hope in the promise of rescue not yet understanding how or when it would come about.

I began my study with Jehovah’s Witnesses in March 12, 1996. I was baptized 7 months later to the day on October 12.

February 7, 1997- Sometimes I’m sure I’m gonna bubble over with enthusiasm for the Truth! I can’t believe I’ve been so privileged to be drawn by Jehovah to do His will (John 6:44). It truly does give life purpose and meaning to share the good news with others. No one REALLY knows love until they feel this love (1 John 4:7-10)

After a large assembly of Jehovah’s Witnesses I came home and wrote this April 14, 1997: Observation about the Truth to relate to new Bible studies: I realized it along the way and want to get it across to my students. First, you recognize the Bible as being the source of Truth. Then you recognize the organization teaching it and as a whole living by it.

Within 3 1/2 years under the influence of that organization, I wrote in August 1999: My worst fear is not that this system will end, but that I be found among the hypocrites putting faith in one another and our works and not the God of Salvation, Jehovah.

By that December, I questioned the existence of love: God is love. What is love? Love involves discipline. It is not love on the part of a friend if he allows his friend to inject poison in his body. Freedom of choice, then, becomes wicked. True love corrects, directs to a righteous way. It does demand obedience to “a way.” Tolerance, then, is against one way.

God was jealous for me and ready to show me the poison I’d been drinking in the Watchtower. I was about to undergo His discipline which eventually led me to repent of my involvement with the Watchtower.

December 1999: Into the pit. The cold harsh reality of life. So brief. So unimportant. Death so final. To know that there is no true friendship or love. We are essentially greedy and self-centered. We live for our gods or ourselves. But nothing is really truth. Life, all life, will end. Meantime, we live as we choose or make the most of our unfortunate circumstances.

4 years under the influence of “Jehovah’s organization” I was craving love…

March 23, 2000: All that I want. When all is said and done, what we all craved is LOVE. Unconditional. Life presents to us opportunities for praise in our accomplishments, material assets to prove our worth, but we are not really worthy until we believe—really trust—that we were worthy of LOVE. The ones who can believe are truly blessed. No matter how many lies or drugs it takes, we never quench the quest. Don’t make me stop. I’m too weak to believe otherwise. I’d rather believe the lie that LOVE exists. God exists. Life has purpose. I have a right to be here. Don’t take that away, it’s all I got amongst my mountain of things.

Good for nuthin’ slave… Manure is manure. It has value if spread out to nourish vegetation. Other than that, it stinks. Manure is manure. I am of value when used to help other things grow.

2001, five years under the Watchtower influence…

I will cling to whom I trust.

I know you created all things Jehovah. I know you have given me Spirit and Truth.

I know you care, I trust this. But what of earthly love?

I do not recognize love on the part of your servants, only your enemies—

Those clever, clever enemies of Truth

They accept me and love me,

But I can never attain to the divine

Which your imperfect, yet holy servants

Say I must aspire to.

It is a narrow road, perhaps too narrow for me.

And it’s knowing that you will spit me out

That makes it easier to leave.

You require me to cling

And yet if I doubt for a day

I am dust….

Continuing in the Watchtower. Welcome to my nightmare….

June 2002: “Then they shall know I am Jehovah!” When? When He acts violently against this dying system? Isn’t that how we FINALLY make ourselves known? By our violent tantrums as we break free from our enforced cover of purity? Who am I now???!!!!
As I smother every last vestige of myself in a shroud of Christianity, I find myself, yes, anticipating that violent day of proclamation prophesied about Him but it’s also for ME!!! But for what? To live forever in that world I’ve begun to despise by seeing its future inhabitants? There is NO LOVE, only clean, smiling people taught so well to be that way.

Oct 2002
Hate is crippling
I hate so much
where does it come from?
Is it because I’ve left them/it/Him in my heart
or is it because I’ve come to know them/it/Him?

Them/it/Him is Jehovah.
Jehovah is no longer God of course.
Jehovah is THEM: the organization
It: the congregation
Him: God expressed through the Bible

So much would be solved if I could just express myself, but doubt is not allowed.
Already judged
Labeled weak
Do show yourself weak and they will take advantage of you
Protect the children! With what? Religion?
Love is always the answer
Am I capable of defining love?

November 2003
I cling to the hate because if I don’t hate you I have to turn it on myself and I will slit my wrists. You were so mean, so insensitive, so powerful in your damned secure position able to oppress. Of course I am crazy now! You are protected by your position. I am open, naked, exposed and vulnerable. And I am trying to build my walls. I will not stoop so low as to take out this life. You will remain and I too will remain, but I will be honest and I will seek solace and I will not trust those who oppress. If I ask Jehovah to help me forgive and trust I will be vulnerable again.

I knew my anger was protecting me and any thought of forgiveness or love at that stage would just make me vulnerable to the oppressive wolves I discovered in the Watchtower. I went to the meetings and out in service with a smile, but I was gone, gone, gone. All I could do was hate. Free birds don’t like captivity. I was seeking release.

December 2003
One will see Christ’s fire in overturning the tables and make it their calling to expose religious hypocrisy.
One will center on Christ’s outreach to the hungry and set up a food shelter.
Another focuses on healing the sick.
All are ministries inspired by the Son of God.
Still, Truth will motivate others to do the work that indeed he commanded to be done,
“preach the good news of the kingdom.”
Again, a ministry given by the Son of God.

If I were to express my ideas through Christ, you say I have lost Jehovah.
If I were to present my case through Mosaic Law, you will say I have not known the Christ.
I use scriptures to defend my points and you say Satan has quoted them!
I find myself in a lost cause.

Yet I am free,
for I know the Truth
and it has set me free.
Free to expose the hypocrisy
Free to outreach to the hungry and sick
Free to also speak of the kingdom.
Yes, I will be crucified by the leaders for this
but I will be free!
(one year later I was disfellowshiped (crucified) for talking too much about Jesus and not recognizing Jehovah’s organization as his sole channel)

Just prior to their announcement that they intended to disfellowship me, I wrote this in the fall of 2004.
I just wanted to believe in love. Who would it hurt anyway? I just wanted to believe in love. When will the bullet find me? When will I feel the peace, the peace of non existence. To live and not know love is pure hell. This is the place where you love the demons because they will find a way to kill me and I welcome the peace.
There’s still a conscience, it says, “wait!” You can still turn to God. Yes, I can.

Out of all the voices in my head, I tried to listen to that one. It wasn’t easy, but I stuck around to listen.

Later in 2004, I penned

There’s a point at which the dedication to God becomes fused with dedication to the Society. It becomes one and the same. Leave the Watchtower and you have left God. Work for the Watchtower and you are working for God. I remember the subtlety, the encouragement to pioneer—or just “do more.” All the time. Eventually it gets to you. You begin to BELIEVE you don’t love God enough because you’re never DOING enough. You let go of that wonderful Spirit that was leading you to do works through love and begin working for THEM. I remember the feeling. It was the first time I signed up to auxiliary pioneer and it didn’t turn out well. I was “in” at that point. Prior to that I truly felt led by Spirit and I could truly love and minister to others through that love. It was a crossover. Now I’m at the crossroads again. I want to give up THEM. Their interpretation will be that I have “left Jehovah.” But no! It is because I miss Him so much! I wish I could trust that Spirit again. The one that made me work, yes, but through love for God, not obedience to THEM. I still believe in God. But yes, I’ve been confused as to who He is and what it is He really requires from us.

He is Jealous For Me.

In John 2:14-16, Jesus storms into the temple courts with a whip to drive out those elements which do not belong there. Zeal for his Father’s house CONSUMED him!! In seeking the Christ within each of us, there are stages of growth. One of which is this kind of righteous indignation he showed at the temple. I believe my anger and tears were the work of the Holy Spirit overturning the tables and reclaiming the temple of my body. Yes, Jesus wept over Jerusalem. He condemned it and wept. I think it is no different for us. I wept losing my beloved religion, but I also had to be honest and condemn it for what it was.

25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold. (Eph 4:25-27)

Anger is part of speaking truthfully. Jesus proved this. But we do have to be careful that it does not control us and make us worse sinners than those we fight against. The bitterness can fester and thereby give a foothold to the devil. That is why Jesus taught us to pray for and bless those who persecute us. Forgiveness is armor for us, not permission given to them to wipe their feet on our backs. Jesus knows that when we have his Spirit in us, we are powerful in our words and actions. He wants Lordship even in our justified and righteous anger. I have learned to give it to him and use it to glorify him. May God be praised in the fire that motivates those who expose religions that falsely represent him.

Mind Control and Mental Illness

I am grateful for Mental Illness Awareness Week every October. During that time, dedicated volunteers from the National Alliance on Mental Illness use the opportunity to make known their services to help those suffering from chemical imbalance, stress caused by physical, sexual, and emotional abuse including the trauma incurred by those exposed to war. There is a network to those experiencing the post traumatic stress of abuse brought on by mind control also, but it is largely unknown and underground. That is why I feel it is necessary to bring it out from the shadows and into the realm of print this month. There are literally thousands of websites dedicated to helping those affected by cult involvement and mind control. Cults often persuade their members not to search these websites out, but I encourage those who are suffering or know someone who is to begin looking for answers in the interest of their mental health. There is help, there is hope.

During Mental Illness Awareness Week, many newspaper editorials make us aware of the chemical imbalance responsible for mood swings and the treatments available. They also note the effects on the brain from various past abuse and the necessity for counseling through such traumatic experience. We can be grateful for those who research and publish the information. An often overlooked area is spiritual abuse through mind control and how many people do suffer mental illness because it. I believe cult awareness belongs with Mental Illness Awareness and so I am sharing this as my contribution to Mental Illness Awareness Week. Your doctor, no matter how skilled and educated, may not understand the unique struggles you face in overcoming trauma brought on by years of spiritual abuse, but there is help through the many websites dedicated to discussion (group and one-on-one), prayer, and information to help you in your journey toward better mental health. Please begin the search today.

In 1961, Dr. Robert J. Lifton wrote the book Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism, after studying the effects of mind control on American prisoners of the war under the Communist Chinese. In chapter 22 of his book, Psychiatrist and Professor Robert J. Lifton outlines eight criteria of mind control, whether used by political, religious or psychological cults.

Members of high-demand organizations often experience the gradual narrowing of their thoughts. Their life experiences and future expectations are restricted and reduced to conform with that of the group. When this tendency is combined with an intense belief system that emphasizes the benefits of life in a higher plane of existence, members are more easily influenced to radically commit themselves to behavior they would not otherwise choose which sets up a perfect breeding ground for a mental disposition referred to as cognitive dissonance. Even after years of physically leaving a group and its teachings, the person’s mental health is impaired and they need support and healing.

These are the eight criteria found in Lifton’s study on Thought Reform.

Milieu Control This involves the control of information and communication both within the environment and, ultimately, within the individual, resulting in a significant degree of isolation from society at large.

Mystical Manipulation There is manipulation of experiences that appear spontaneous but in fact were planned and orchestrated by the group or its leaders in order to demonstrate divine authority or spiritual advancement or some special gift or talent that will then allow the leader to reinterpret events, scripture, and experiences as he or she wishes.

Demand for Purity The world is viewed as black and white and the members are constantly exhorted to conform to the ideology of the group and strive for perfection. The induction of guilt and/or shame is a powerful control device used here.

Confession Sins, as defined by the group, are to be confessed either to a personal monitor or publicly to the group. There is no confidentiality; members’ “sins,” “attitudes,” and “faults” are discussed and exploited by the leaders.

Sacred Science The group’s doctrine or ideology is considered to be the ultimate Truth, beyond all questioning or dispute. Truth is not to be found outside the group. The leader, as the spokesperson for God or for all humanity, is likewise above criticism.

Loading the Language The group interprets or uses words and phrases in new ways so that often the outside world does not understand. This jargon consists of thought-terminating clichés, which serve to alter members’ thought processes to conform to the group’s way of thinking.

Doctrine over person Member’s personal experiences are subordinated to the sacred science and any contrary experiences must be denied or reinterpreted to fit the ideology of the group.

Dispensing of existence The group has the prerogative to decide who has the right to exist and who does not. This is usually not literal but means that those in the outside world are not saved, unenlightened, unconscious and they must be converted to the group’s ideology. If they do not join the group or are critical of the group, then they must be rejected by the members. Thus, the outside world loses all credibility. In conjunction, should any member leave the group, he or she must be rejected also. (Lifton, 1989)

I am not blaming the Watchtower for anybody’s chemical imbalance which manifests itself as mental illness. But I am not shy about exposing the trauma their oppression has caused in many minds including my own. As their Awake! article pointed out, there is such a thing as spiritual sickness and physical sickness. I still deal with my physical sickness of seasonal depression, but I am joy-filled even through dark days because I know my savior lives and he LOVES me. THAT is what was TAKEN from me as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses–the TRUTH that GOD LOVES ME. It made me insane to keep having to guess if Jehovah would still love me if I missed a meeting or didn’t get my hours in the door-to-door service! Now I know for certainty that God loves me and I will not let mere men oppress me again for it leads to spiritual sickness due to a divided mind that is not WHOLLY dedicated to God. Now that the Watchtower is no longer controlling my mind, I can once again love God with my WHOLE mind, heart, soul and strength. AMEN!!!

Keep yourself in God’s love, Julie